Before we proceed, I need to say an enormous "Thank You" to everyone for all of your lovely comments after my last post. They were so completely appreciated and I very much wanted to send each of you a personal response...except that the majority of them came after the babies did and let me tell you, there are zero moments in the new life of this mama of 4 for brushing ones hair, much less for email responses... so please accept my heartfelt gratitude for your care and encouragement, you guys are amazing!
And now that I have managed to scrape together a few uninterrupted, awake moments to myself, I would like to FINALLY introduce you to "Rice and Beans"....
Oliver Ford and Jasper Finn
arrived on December 26th weighing in at 5 lbs 12 oz and 5 lbs even.
Yes, we made it past Christmas but only by 24 hours or so. We actually knew it was coming, there was a worrisome ultrasound on the 23rd. The babies measured a larger growth disparity than ever before and the doctors were concerned that they weren't getting equal oxygen distribution in utero. We had made it to 34.5 weeks and though I felt we could hold on for another week at least, the doctors didn't think it would be safe to do so.
They both arrived pink and screaming but needed immediate transfer to the NICU because of their gestational age. After having two previously healthy deliveries and remembering how special that moment is when you are handed your new baby for the first time, being able to breathe them in and tell them how much they are loved, it was incredibly painful and surreal to have my new babies taken away for examination.
It turned out that Finn was able to breathe on his own but Oliver required Oxygen. They both had IV's and wires attached all over. It was unsettling to see them hooked up to machines with beeping alarms. I felt helpless to think that I wasn't able to give them what they needed to be stable. I needed to surrender in a way that I have never before had to do and trust that the doctors and nurses would watch over them and keep them safe. It was stressful to say the least.
Two days after birth, Oliver developed a collapsed lung which required three different procedures to stabilize. He was a sick little guy those first few days.
Finn on the other hand managed to rid himself of his IV's in only three days and amazed everyone with his huge appetite and ability to breastfeed like a baby much older than 34 weeks.
He was so little but incredibly strong.
Those first two weeks were exhausting trying to recover from major surgery, pumping milk every 3 hours, and traveling back and forth often times twice a day to be with them while they got strong enough to come home.
But I have to say, as stressful as it was, it could have been much worse. I am so thankful that we were able to make it to 34 weeks. I am so grateful that they arrived with such substantial birth weights. It was heartbreaking to look around the NICU and see those teeny- tiny, sick babies. My heart went out to those moms and dads who sat vigil beside the isolettes praying that their sweet babies would come home healthy and strong.
We are incredibly blessed.
Because they are both home with us...
and they are healthy and strong...
and they are loved by two very proud big brothers....
Life here has become a whole new kind of busy. My days are more full than they have ever been. There are no empty moments. I think my ten minute shower each morning is all the "me time" that I can expect for the next several months. There are babies to nurse and burp, diapers to change, and spit-up to wipe. There are big brothers that need food and attention. There is home-school work that needs to be organized and taught. There is laundry that needs washing and folding. There are meals that need to be prepared and then cleaned up after. There are bathrooms to scrub and vacuuming to be done because there are of course a big dog, a cat and two very active boys running through this place all day long, going in and out and tracking all that comes with it all over the floors and walls.
And I am T.I.R.E.D...but I am content (most moments anyway!!).
And I am thrilled to finally be able to share with you a bit of what has been happening over our long absence in this space. And I am hopeful to not be so absent anymore but honestly, I make no promises about how regularly you can expect to hear from us. I have learned over the last few months that good intentions don't always mean frequent posting. So for now, just know that we are deeply entrenched in the world of all things new baby and we are well. And we hope that you all are too!
