Wow, I've done it again, gone away from this space for much longer than intended.
All I can say is that the last few weeks have kept us physically busy, and even when things haven't been busy, I have been
feeling a whole different kind of busy. The mental and emotional kind.
The kind that makes a body tired. There are mental lists swimming through my mind, things like closets that need sorting, baby stuff that needs to be gathered, Long lists of possible names ( it's feeling harder this time ), lists of organizing for the Holidays...that's a big one, just in case the arrival of the babes overlaps, I don't want to be caught off guard.
I guess in the wake of all of that, this little space has fallen really low on the priority list. Sorry friends, please don't hold it against me,
To quickly catch you up to speed, our days this fall have taken on a predictable and comfortable rhythm. Wake up, make breakfast, then schoolwork and classes, lunch and Caleb's nap time, which is the time that Samuel and I snuggle together in my bed and read to each other. The rest of the day is just playing and being together. What could be more perfect than a schedule like that? In some respects, it has been amazing, but strangely, October felt like one of the longest months of my life.
I have been trying to revel in all things "Fall", cherishing this time,
being present in the moment with my family, realizing that things will
be changing in unspeakable ways before we know it. The problem is that
all the while, I have been wishing like mad that I could blink my eyes
and have it be the end of November already. Not to wish our time together away,
just so that I could breathe a sigh of relief knowing that these unborn
babies would be in a "safe" zone as far as their desire to be born
early is concerned.
My ability to enjoy this season, this last autumn as a 4-some, has been seriously hampered by the fact that I am supposed to be on modified bed rest which essentially means taking it as physically easy as possible and putting up my feet as often as I can. Did I just hear you giggle? Yeah, it is kind of laughable how much opportunity for "rest" there isn't with two small boys running around doing small boy things all day! But there have been plenty of things that we usually do this time of year that just can't happen this fall, at least not for me. Disappointed doesn't really seem an adequate descriptor of how that feels.
So I have been having this little internal struggle, realizing all that we are missing out on and trying to not waste a single moment of "doing" that I can participate in, all the
while not able to ignore that little voice in my head reminding me that
I should rest now as much as possible because I know once the babes
come home, rest and sleep will be scarce and I will look back on this opportunity with incredible longing.
So in the midst of the busyness, there has been a good measure of sitting still admiring the sunlight as it dances on the floor. I have found this to be the perfect quiet place for allowing my mind to swirl round and round with all of those lists.
If you are still reading, thanks for hanging in there while I ramble...
I'm going to finish up today with a giant Hurray for November and the swinging of the clocks back this weekend! For those of you who know me well, you know that I am happier than a pig in mud that baths and jammies can once again happen before dinner. Woohoo for the return of civilized evenings to our lives!
I am hopeful that posting might resume with more regularity in the coming weeks...My intentions are good, so stay tuned!
